Writing in My Lane
My debut YA, My Invented Life, centers around a secret that drives a wedge between sisters that used to be close. The secret has to do with sexual identity. Why did I choose to write about that?
The easy answer would’ve been, “I wish that funny, uplifting stories with lesbian and bi girls existed back when I was a teen.” Unfortunately, that would've been a lie. I am not lesbian or bi. The challenges of growing up gay did not occur to me until much later. I’m that lame.
In fact, my biggest post-pub fear went something like this: LGBT readers and authors would scoff at my lack of “credentials,” laugh in my face, call me a fraud, or much worse. (False alarm, btw. I learned later that people like me are called allies. I felt very appreciated by the LGBT community.)
Luckily, the interviews were written, so I had time to develop cogent answers.
Reason A: I was inspired by events around my high school reunion. A number of my classmates came out around then. I asked a few about their experience in HS and was somewhat horrified by their answers.
True.
Reason B: I wanted to write an uplifting story that focused on a friendship between sisters, and how a secret can ruin a friendship. I didn’t want the “coming out” itself to be traumatic.
Also true.
However, the biggest reason didn’t occur to me until after the book got published. Here it is:
I can identify with the pain of LGBT teens that hide their true selves from friends because I grew up in the same situation.
Only different.
My mom died when I was five. She didn’t die in a car wreck, of cancer, or in any tragic, yet socially acceptable way. She killed herself. My Dad insisted that my sister and I keep it a secret. I mostly did. But the secret made me feel ashamed. Dark. Dishonest. Disconnected. Fringe.
And that is why I believe in telling the truth, even if it makes others uncomfortable. Some day, I hope to live in a world where we aren't afraid that others might judge us for who we really are